


I Think I Need Another Cigarette

by caesarjoestar



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Detective!Tim, Fluff, Jason Todd is Red Hood, M/M, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:09:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caesarjoestar/pseuds/caesarjoestar
Summary: Tim Drake was just your average Gotham detective (but really how normal can your life be when you live in Gotham?) until he met and starting dating Jason Todd and then kept running into Red Hood of all people.





	1. The Mcdonalds Car Park Flirtation Technique

**Author's Note:**

> series title from i dont even smoke by stick and poke

It wasn’t often that Jason found himself out of costume during the night time but he was hungry and had an intense craving for terrible, unhealthy fast food (and anyway he couldn’t exactly eat if he was wearing the hood.) So that’s how he found himself at midnight in approaching a 24-hour fast food restaurant. He parked his motorbike, climbed off, entered and ordered one giant helping of greasy, heart attack inducing food.

 

He sat down in a window booth, placing his earphones in and listening to whatever shuffle played on his phone and ate without really thinking. It was good really, he didn’t often have the chance to just switch off. Vigilantism didn’t offer much time to yourself, but of course, the world hated Jason Todd and he couldn’t go five minutes in peace.

 

He absentmindedly looked out the window, watching the people of Gotham pass by when out of the corner of his eye he saw a small group of men huddled around his motorbike. Now, logically he knew that there was no way in hell they could actually succeed in stealing his bike due to all the complex security features he had put on there but Jason wasn’t always logical. Although he had gotten better at being less impulsive these last few years, his bike was _his_ _ baby _ and no one gets to steal his baby.

 

He sprinted out of the restaurant, his boots slapping hard against the ground. He was about to send one hard punch square against the head of the man trying to hotwire his car when he saw a glint of something metallic. A knife. A knife pointed directly towards his stomach but he had been running so fast he couldn’t stop and now he was going to be stabbed in a fucking Mcdonalds car park.

 

“GCPD drop your weapons and put your hands up!” He heard someone scream behind him. The man with the knife dropped it just before it would have hit Jason and the other of them lifted their hands above their hands. This afforded Jason enough time to come to a stop and turn to see who had saved him. He expected to see some big, uniformed beat-cop but instead was met with a short and thin, mid-twenties man in an old red hoodie and jeans with his hair pulled into a short ponytail at the back. The non-uniformed officer held his badge up in one hand and in the other, he had a handgun trained straight onto the man who had been holding the knife. He slowly approached the thieves, getting them to kneel down on the ground and called for backup. 

 

The man looked over his shoulder at Jason, “Are you okay, sir?”

 

“I- yeah, I’m good, they didn’t hurt me,” Jason told the officer truthfully.  _ Fuck! I'm supposed to be a vigilante and I almost get stabbed by a fucking bike thief? _

 

“Okay, that’s good. Do you know these men?”

 

He shook his head, “No, I don’t. Just saw ‘em trying to take my bike while I was eating.” 

 

“Well, it’s a good thing you caught them and I was in the mood for a burger,” The officer said, “I’m Detective Drake by the way, what’s your name?”

 

“Jason Haywood,” As much as he hated Sheila Haywood for what she did to him, Jason Todd was legally dead and he could no longer use that name. So he legally took the name of the only other family member he had ever known, even if she did betray him. He was always going to a Todd in his heart but his passport was another thing altogether. 

 

Drake smiled brightly at him, “Thank you, Mr Haywood.” Sirens and flashing blue lights lit up the street as the detective spoke.

 

“Looks like the cavalry's arrived,” Jason joked.

 

The detective laughed lightly, flashing Jason a set of straight white teeth, a _ nd fuck, his laugh was cute. _ “Right on time,” He joked back.

 

Two uniformed officers stepped out of their vehicle and approached the two of them. Drake explained the situation and not long after the officers took the thieves back to their car and took them back to the precinct.  

 

The two men were left alone in the car park and it was- awkward. Neither of them really knew what to say and the longer the silence went on the worse it got.

 

Deciding he had had enough of it, Jason spoke first, “So, uh, am I free to go?”

 

Drake blinked at him in surprise, “Uh, yeah of course! I mean I wasn’t holding you or anything…”

 

“Right, thanks,” Jason replied with a little nod and walked towards his motorbike, just as he was about the straddle the seat a hand shot out and grabbed the sleeve of his leather jacket.

 

“Oh! I will be needing you to come back to the precinct tomorrow so we can file your side of the situation.”

 

“I can’t tomorrow,”  _ I have drug bust case I’m working with Nightwing tomorrow, _ he wanted to but of course he couldn’t, “I have- uh, work.” 

 

Drake nodded and held a finger up to his chin, “Well then you could give me your number,” After realising what he had said the man turned bright red, “So I can text you about when you can come in!”

 

Jason couldn’t help but laugh at the flustered man, “Yeah, of course, dude.”

 

Drake handed over his phone to Jason so he could input his number and then handed it back to the embarrassed man. He secured his helmet onto his head, reached into his pocket, pulling out his keys and then turned the ignition.

 

“You can always text me about something else, you know?” He said with a wink and then speed out as fast as he could out of the car park.

 

Unbenounced to Jason, Drake turned bright red from head to toe. He looked down at his phone at the contact he had made. “Jason Haywood ;)” Shone happily back at him and Drake almost screamed.

 

* * *

 

“You stupid motherfucker,” Jason said out loud to himself as he slammed the fridge door much harder than necessary.  _ He had flirted with a civilian, let alone a fucking cop! _

 

He sat down heavily onto his sofa with a loud sigh and turned on the television, not really watching what was playing but just chastising himself for his awful decision. He took a big, long swig of his beer and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

_ Ping! _ His phone chimed alerting him to a new text message. His heart went to his throat, he knew logically that anyone could have texted him and that most likely it would be Roy or Kori since they were always chatting away in their groupchat, but another part of him  _ really _ hoped it was that cute detective.

 

**Unknown Number:**

_ “Okay, I know this is probably a little bit unprofessional,  _

_ but would you like to get coffee with me?” _ 00:34

 

**Unknown Number:**

_ “This is Detective Drake by the way!” _ 00:35

 

**Unknown Number:**

_ “Tim. My name is Tim, would be weird if you  _

_ called me ‘Detective Drake’.” _ 00:35

 

Well, isn't this interesting.

 

**Me:**

_ “It’s almost definitely unprofessional but I’d  _

_ love to have that coffee sometime.”  _ 00:37

 

**Tim ♥:**

_ “How does Thursday- 11am at Gotham  _

_ Grind sound?” _ 00:40

  
  


**Me:**

_ “Sounds good, see you then ;)” _ 00:42


	2. Why Does Every Villian Use an Abandoned Warehouse?

Tim ran down a narrow corridor on the second story of an abandoned warehouse that had been turned into the base for a group of sex traffickers. The victims were being passed through this warehouse and then out into either different brothels around Gotham and other neighbouring cities or directly into the houses of rich creeps for their own personal use. 

 

He and his partner had been working this case for far too long, it shouldn’t have taken this long usually but his captain had been trying to get them thrown off the case and give it someone who would inevitably fuck it all up. But Tim wasn’t about to let that happen, he couldn’t give a shit about internal politics of the police or whatever rich weirdo was lining the GCPD’s pockets with money, he just wanted to what was right. Even if it meant jeopardizing his career or possibly getting promoted (like that was going to happen, the majority of his higher-ups had hated him.) If he really wanted to he could have played it in his favour, he had been raised by of Gotham’s best businessman and woman. He knew how to play himself into someone's favour and rise through the ranks until he was on top but that also meant ignoring cases like these and letting these people go free. Even with the help of Batman and other vigilantes there were always cases that fell through the cracks and this was seeming to be one, so Tim did what needed to be done.

 

As he ran down the corridor he opened each room carefully, making sure no one was there. He reached the last room at the end with was also completely devoid of criminal scum and he sighed to himself. He really hoped his partner Ramirez, who had taken the first floor, had found something.

 

There was the unmistakable sound of someone shoes scuffing against the concrete floor and Tim knew he was trouble.

 

“Drop the gun and turn around slowly,” A deep voice with an unrecognisable European accent commanded behind him and Tim compiled. He slowly crouched down to place his gun on the floor and then rose back up, turning around his hands up.

 

Now that he was facing the man he could see him clearly. Blonde, average height but well built, wearing a navy blue jacket and black jeans. He stood in the doorway, blocking Tim’s only exit and then, of course, there was also the pistol pointed straight at Tim’s head. 

 

“You don’t want to shoot a detective,” He told the man firmly.

 

“Shut the fuck up pig!” The gunman shouted, “I thought we paid you people enough to not go looking into us.”

 

“Probably, but I’m not most detectives. I don’t care about the money, I care about the people.”

 

The criminal laughed at that, “Then you are stupid. Stupid, naive, American boy who thinks he can solve all world’s problems by sticking a gun in its face.”

 

“Yeah, maybe I am stupid,” He agreed to get himself more time to think. He needed to think of an escape plan and fast because he could tell the gunman wasn’t going to let him stick around much longer. Thankfully, however, he didn’t have tothink for too long.

 

Suddenly there was the earth-shatteringly loud sound of the window to Tim’s right being broken. He turned fast enough to see a dark figure dressed in a deep red helmet, black bodysuit and brown leather jacket.  _ Red Hood. _ The infamous vigilante and ex-crime lord who operated heavily in this area. 

 

With ease Red Hood dodge out of the way of any bullets the man desperately tried to shoot into him and within a matter of seconds the vigilante had crossed the room and had the criminal in a headlock. The only sound cutting through the deafening silence after the scuffle was the criminals desperate breathing as he tried to fight against Red Hood’s chokehold on him.

 

“Don’t kill him,” Tim called out to the vigilante.

 

“Fine, have it your way, Princess,” Red Hood grunted out in a gruff tone as he let the man go only to hit him in the back of the head with the butt of one of his own handguns, knocking the man out.

 

“I had it under control,” He bit out, feeling annoyed at being called fucking  _ ‘princess’ _ .

 

“Sure you did,” Red Hood said, stepping over the unconscious body and getting closer to Tim and picking up the detectives discarded gun and handed it back to him, “Wasn’t like you were completely trapped in here with that scumbag without me.”

 

Tim didn’t say anything back, just snatched his gun back out of Red Hood’s hand.

 

Red Hood stood straighter, seemingly going more serious, “It’s good to see at least one cop in this city actually trying to do some good.”

 

Tim hadn’t been expecting that at all. Red Hood was known to hate cops, and even if he did help them sometimes he certainly didn’t keep his views on them to himself.

 

“I do what I can.”

 

“Keep doing that then,” Red Hood told him, making his way back over to the window. He began to climb back out the way he came but then turned back to Tim, “You’re doing good detective, even if the regular people of Gotham can’t see or thank you personally you’re doing a great service to them.” He turned back around and jumped from the window.

 

_ Well, isn't this interesting. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil chapter from timmys perspective so he can have a bit of personal experience with the infamous red hood for later haha
> 
> and truly blown away by the support u guys have given me on this fic!!! so many people commenting on only the first chapter (i think more than ive ever received before!!)
> 
> also btw if there any typos or weird sentences then pls let me know bc im dyslexic and i also wrote this at 3am lmao


	3. baby, you make me chain smoke outside a cafe at 11am

It was only 11am and Jason was on his tenth cigarette of the day. He wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous and yet here he was chain smoking outside Gotham Grind waiting for Tim to show up. He could deal with someone sticking a gun in his face without breaking a sweat but apparently the same couldn’t be said about a date. 

 

He checked his watch again, 11:05, and Tim still wasn’t there. Jason had surveyed the inside of the cafe and he definitely wasn’t already seated and had been carefully watching the street but there was no sign of Tim anywhere.  _ God, stop panicking so much five minutes is a perfectly normal amount of time to be late. _ But this was Gotham and anything awful could happen to you in a matter of five minutes. Tim was a detective and could handle himself just fine,  _ but I did save him from being shot the other day too- _

 

“Those things will give you cancer you know,” A voice called through his internal panic.

 

He jumped slightly and turn to see Tim Drake looking up at him, slightly dishevelled and with messy windblown hair (although somehow it worked for him.) The white shirt and dress pants were quite nice though and it was obvious that he had made an effort to look good for their date (even if the Gotham wind ruined it a little bit.)

 

“Not for a long time though,” Jason tried to reply back cooly and cover up that Tim had surprised him.  _ Seriously I was born in Crime Alley and trained by Batman, how the hell did he manage to sneak up on me? _

 

Tim just rolled his eyes as Jason dropped his cigarette and grounded it into the concrete below with his boot. The shorter man’s eyes followed the cigarette and landed on Jason’s small pile of other cigarettes he had anxiety smoked whilst waiting.

 

“Wow, that’s a lot, are you a chain smoker?” He spoke with a small bit of judgement in his voice.

 

“No,” Jason answered gruffly and slightly annoyed,  _ I did not come here to get judged. _

 

Then the strangest thing happened, a massive Cheshire Cat-sized grin spread over Tim’s face, “Nervous then?” 

 

“What?” A flash of red crept up from Jason’s neck and onto his cheeks, “No, I-”

 

“So which is it, nervousness or chain smoking?” Tim joked.

 

Instead of answering Jason instead shrunk in on himself, “We should go inside,” He nodded towards the cafe door in way of changing the subject.

 

Tim once again rolled his eyes and followed Jason inside.

 

Turning to look at the other man, Jason asked, “So, what do you want?”

 

“You’re buying for me?”

 

“Yeah, course I am,” Jason said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “It’s the least I could do for the whole ‘you saved me from getting stabbed to death in a Mcdonald's parking lot thing’”

 

Tim chuckled, “Okay sure, I guess, a black coffee would be great.”

 

“Really just a black coffee, nothing fancy? I’m paying so you can order anything you want, I don’t mind the price.”

 

“I don’t really like the more fancy stuff,” He said with a shrug of his shoulders, “What can I say, I’m a simple man.”

 

“Alright then, go find a table for us and I’ll order,” Jason moved or to the counter and from the corner of his eye he saw Tim take a seat at a table next to the large window that looked out onto the street. 

 

Luckily at this time of day, there weren’t too many people in the cafe so it didn’t take very long for Jason to receive their drinks and go back over to where Tim was sitting.

 

“Here you go,” He said handing Tim his drink and slid into the chair opposite his date.

 

Tim thanked him and took a long sip of his drink, “God they make it good here.” 

 

Jason just nodded and took a sip of his own chai tea. An uncomfortable silence fell over the both of them, neither of them sure what to say. 

 

After a few  _ long _ moments, Jason had had enough of the silence and said, “Ask me something.”

 

Tim looked surprised for a second and then a confused look came over his features, “What do you mean?”

 

“You know, ask me stuff! So we can get to know each other better or whatever,” He rubbed the back of his neck with the heel of his palm, “That’s what people do when they get coffee, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, yeah, but I’m not sure it applies when the coffee takes place after right after one person saves the other from almost getting murdered.”

 

“First of all, I totally had the situation under control,  _ thank you _ ,” Jason put on a mock offended look but couldn’t help his grin breaking through, “And second of all, I’m just trying to make some damn conversation, Tim.”

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll ask you something, geez,” Tim replies, trying to stifle a laugh.

 

“Well, now it just sounds forced.”

 

“No, it doesn’t!” Tim interjected, “I just have to come up with something!”

 

Tim puts his hand up to this chin for a moment and then a question comes to mind and he sits up straight and grins and his date, “Oh, I know! Favourite superhero?”

 

Jason can’t help but burst into uproarious laughter at that,  _ oh the irony _ . 

 

“What, what is it?!” Tim asks in confusion.

 

“N-nothing, it’s just-” He can’t help that laugh that involuntarily leaves his mouth. “ _ That’s _ your question? You’re such a nerd. But sure, okay. Favourite superhero: Wonder Woman, easy. Who’s yours?” He answers before quickly adding, “And if you say Batman I  _ will _ leave.”

 

“It’s not Batman,” Tim said, chuckling and shaking his head, “I’d say… Superman?”

 

“Okay, classic but good. Maybe too good if you ask me, but uh, that’s expected from a detective.”

 

Tim let out a mock offended noise, “Hey, I can be bad too!” 

 

“Suuuuuuure…”

 

“Yeah! I hang out with bad boys!”

 

Jason leaned closer, suddenly intrigued, “Such as?”

 

“You!”

 

“I don’t count.” He laughed and slapped a hand over his face.

 

Tim thought for a moment and then snapped up straight in his seat from where he had been slouching, “Ok then… The Red Hood!”

 

“Seriously,  _ The _ Red Hood?” He honestly hadn’t been expecting Tim to talk about his vigilante persona, but hey he was interested so he played along. “You really expect me to buy that.”

 

“Okay, not really ‘hang out’, but I’ve met him.”

 

Jason just gave an affirmative hum and sipped his tea. 

 

“He’s a dick-” Before Tim could finish the rest of his sentence Jason did a literal spit take, choking on the tea in this throat and spitting it across the table. Not a great look on a first date.

 

He couldn’t help himself and burst out in uproarious laughter, both at himself for being so embarrassing and at Tim’s confused face. “S-sorry, I don’t-” He couldn’t finish his sentence before another wave of laughter overtook his body. 

 

“Is there a joke I’m not getting here?”

 

By now the laughter was dying down but it was still hard to talk, “No, sorry-  _ ohmygod. _ ”

 

“Well, I’m glad at least one of us found it hilarious,” Tim’s face was still twisted in confused but it also looked as if there was also a hint of affection there too. The look was wiped away as soon as he looked down at his watch however, “Oh wow, it’s later than I thought. I have to get back to the station.”

 

Both the men stood from where they had been sitting, Jason slipped his jacket back on and asked, “Want me to walk you there?”

 

Tim’s cheeks lit up in a slight flush, “Yes, I would like that.” 

 

They left the cafe, walking in the direction of the station and Jason thought to himself,  _ I am truly fucked. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about not updating in a month i was just not okay. pretty much the day after i posted the last chapter my depression hit me full force in a way i havent felt in over 3 years and honestly idk why. i did start writing this again around the end of the month but then my birthday came and i got real busy with that and other irl stuff so i just didnt have the time nor inspiration to the write more. i finally managed to stop the procrastination today but i cant promise anything with future chapters.
> 
> that out of the way i really hope u guys enjoyed this new chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> based on [careamorran's civilian au](https://careamorran.tumblr.com/tagged/civilian-au)
> 
> hope you liked!


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